Personal Discography

I got the idea for this after a conversation with a friend about bands. I feel like some people do like 2 bands then call it a day. I started playing in bands when I was 17, and with a few gaps here and there, I've been doing it ever since. None of my bands have ever been very popular, but I make up for quality in quantity. Consult your local dollar bin to fill in the holes in your collection. Here's a list to date of every proper release I have performed on.

Depraved Azriel- "is cool" (demo): bass/vocals 1997
Professor Plum- "In the Dining Room w/ the Candle Stick" (demo): bass/ backup vocals 1997
Depraved Azriel- "Bug Goes to College" 7": bass/vocals 1998
Depraved Azriel + V/A- "New Jersey in a Nutshell" comp CD: bass/ backup vocals 1998
The Freakout + V/A- "Shut Up and Skate" comp 7": bass/backup vocals 2001
Snakebite- demo tape: bass 2004
Snakebite- "Feel The Buzz" 7" (same songs as demo): bass 2004
Johnny Deformed- demo CDr: bass 2004
Forward to Death- "Death Therapy" LP/CD: backup vocals 2004
Snakebite- "Every Bad Idea Is a Good Idea" 7": bass 2004
Snakebite- "The First Year" (collects both 7"s): bass 2004
Wormeaters- demo tape: bass 2007
SPG- demo tape: bass 2008
Wormeaters- "In God We Thrust" 7": bass 2008
Wormeaters- "Cattle Cannot Choose": bass/ backup vocals 2008
Poison Planet- "Oblivious" 7": bass/ backup vocals 2009
Poison Planet + V/A- "Punx Don't Drink" comp 7": bass/ backup vocals 2009
SPG- "Special Patrol Group" 7" + tape: bass/ backup vocals 2009
Bloodtype- demo tape: vocals 2009
Wormeaters- "Wardeath": bass 2010
Bloodtype- "Bringin' More Stuff Down": vocals 2010
Wormeaters + V/A- "Sorry State Records" comp CD 2010
Bloodtype- s/t: vocals 2010
Bloodtype- split with INJ/SYS: vocals 2010
Sic Sensation / Stripmines / Devour / Coke Bust- live tape: vocals (on CB's Citizens Arrest cover) 2010
Phibes- demo: bass 2011
Poison Planet- "Ugly Truths Vol. 1" LP: bass/ backup vocals (contains the "Oblivious" 7") 2011

Not Pictured:
Depraved Azriel + V/A- some NJ comp CD (never got copies)
Kanamits/ Wormeaters- split demo tape (only made like 15, didn't take one)
SPG + V/A- I'd Rather Be Watching Movies comp CDr (forgot to include in the picture)
SPG- demo + 7" tape (does this exist?)
Bloodtype- discography tape (does this exist?)
Phibes EP (unreleased)
Phibes + V/A- "NJHC 2011" comp (never got copies)

Releases I'm credited as being in the band, but don't play on:
The Freakout- demo
Forward To Death- The Hourglass (tour pressing only)
I Hate This- split w/ Killin It

Things I Learned in Europe

Last month I accompanied Coke Bust on their first European tour. I had a great time, met a lot of cool people, went a lot of cool places. I kept a journal with me, and wrote about each day. Rather than bore you with a long Tour Diary post, here's a list of things I learned abroad.

-Europeans think I'm fat
-Coke Bust covering Youth of Today with me on vocals was better than the "real YOT" which toured Germany the month before
-Squats in Germany are better organized than some legit venues
-The food we got for free that people made for us at shows was better than the food we paid for in restaurants
-Poland is 10% on fire at all times
-Most stereotypes I had of Europeans were all absolutely true
-Hostels aren't as creepy as I assumed they would be, and were actually quite pleasant
-European punks take things more seriously, and there are a lot more older people at shows there.
-The ban we have on indoor smoking in the USA is a good idea
-British people have a real snarky attitude, which rules
-Breakfast of bread and various spreads is common
-Soda tastes way better there, since they use sugar instead of corn syrup.
-Jubert can lose all of his clothes, and come home with nicer ones for free
-In Poland, prostitutes hang out in the woods wearing coats in the afternoon
-The hookers in the Red Light District are mediocre looking at best
-Sheep are more common than trees in the UK
-Pizza in northern/ eastern Europe is terrible (corn? really?)
-Nico is the coolest guy in all of Europe
-Dierk has the coolest stuff in all of Europe
-The British really are into tea (with milk and sugar of course)
-"Brown Sauce" is a staple in a proper British breakfast; it goes well with beans on toast.
-If regular haggis is as good as vegan haggis, I wanna try it
-Belgians will make you waffles if you ask nicely
-There aren't many skin byrds in the UK
-Don't brag about you encounter with a skin byrd on Facebook, it makes your girlfriend very mad.
-Coke Bust severely overestimated the European straight edge scene from a t-shirt sales perspective.
-Jubert loves soda, and gets real sassy after 2
-Germans love to play kicker (fooseball) at shows
-The phrase "Good Night White Pride" can be funny when said like "Good Night John Boy"
-Some European urinals are like a horse trough
-Some European toilets have the "poo shelf" which keeps the poo out of water, and keeps it stinky. Not backed
-Burritos in Germany are just as bad as you'd assume they'd be
-German rest stops expect you to pay .70 Euro to use the toilet, but you can pee outside for free
-It's way easier to steal stuff in Europe
-UK showers have no water pressure
-Fish and Chips tastes just like I assumed it would: greasy and delicious
-Donner kabob (sort of like a gyro in the US) is pretty damn tasty
-Schnitzel is pretty damn shitty
-Robert Refuse is the Nick Baran of Europe
-Europe has a much better selection of bootleg LPs
-The landscape of most of Europe looks like northern Pennsylvania
-The Czech Republic has a tourist trap rest area similar to South of the Border
-The Anti-Fascista movement is 90% stickers
-Eastern Europe really over compensates for the whole nazi thing
-There are 5 black people in all of Europe, which makes the white pride movement even more ridiculous
-Top 3 bands we played with: Ruidosa Inmundicia, Sick Fuckin-O, Short Fuse
-Top 3 songs of tour: "Bed Intruder Song," "Ba Ba Americano," "Teenage Dream"
-Nico used to mosh hard at shows, and earned the nickname "the Butcher" in the pit
-South Park is possibly the best American export
-Hearing English people talk with American accents is hilarious
-"Handy" and "Blowy" are (or at least should be) new British slang for sexual acts
-Nico is a better wingman than Nicktape
-Swedish people like to talk about how cold it is, or will get
-Most European shows take place in bars, or places with bars, which maybe gives the sXe stance more meaningful there
-Bands get paid better, and treated nicer in Europe than America
-Punks carry tote bags to shows for their records; I support this
-Vita Cola is the best soda in Europe, followed closely by Mezzo Mix. Both are orange flavored cola
-Sleeping on a tile kitchen floor is just as uncomfortable as you would think
-Chris at all times travels with at least 4 layers of clothing
-There are no fat people in Amsterdam
-Most of Amsterdam travels by bicycle, including women in short skirts. BACKED
-Seeing Coke Bust 21 days in a row didn't get boring
-Germans love David Hasselhoff

Why Didn't KISS Have a Video Game?

Seriously, KISS whored out their name to anything, why not a video game? I decided to make the universe right again by making a KISS video game cartridge. I illustrated an Atari looking KISS logo and portrait of Gene Simmons, then glued it to the cartridge. I also thought if KISS did have a game, it may as well be silver (kinda like Legend of Zelda was gold). The screen image was re-drawn based on the Journey game (which for some reason exists).
This was supposed to be for the Game Core Con- Art on Atari Cartridges show, but my work schedule did not allow me to get it done in time. =(

UPDATE: This piece was also featured on ALBOTAS.

Question I've always had...

After watching Back to School and Weekend and Bernie's today (life is hard), I had an important question:
Why was "Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boing used in Back to School and not Weekend at Bernie's?
There was a party at a dead man's house in the fucking movie...

I'm a published writer!

I sent in a letter to MRR about Minneapolis band In Defence and their anti-pizza stance a few months ago, and it was actually published in issue #307.

Ball's in your court now Ben Defence!


Ain't I a stinker...

Ramen Noodles

Being as I've been unemployed for the past few months, I've fully embraced the lifestyle. I've been going to the local library pretty regularly, and eating a lot of Ramen Noodles (8/$1.00!!!). I've taken the liberty of suggesting a new recipe, since the one on the back of the packaging is totally wrong. The most glaring problem being "serve immediately for best results."


1. Boil 2 cups of water (that's the only thing they did right). For god's sake don't add any salt to make it boil faster.

2. Once the water is at a rolling boil, add the flavor packet. I recommend "oriental" or "beef." The packet should dissolve instantly.

3. Place brick of noodles in water without breaking them up. Let them sit in there and soak up the broth.

4. Once the noodles begin to soften, lower the heat, and unfold the noodles. You can see the difference in color, so make sure to stir it around.

5. Let the pot sit and cool for around 15 minutes. There should be little broth left, and the noodles should be brown colored.

I recommend putting the whole pot in a large bowl and eating it with a fork (or chop sticks if you're so inclined). Enjoy!

dumb thoughts

So while driving recently, I saw one of those big trucks carrying a long trailer. On this huge trailer was a weird gigantic metal cone-shaped object. I couldn't help but wonder if it was a major component in a device for a mad super villain. I could be the drill tip for some sort of machinery that would drill to the center of the earth. If only terrorists were more like James Bond villains...

This is the random crap that floats through my head on a daily basis. I kinda want to get a tape recorder to record my random thoughts, ala Norm MacDonald in Dirty Work.


I've got 2 more shows that I'm booking in the next few weeks. between finding places and bands, and going on numerous job interviews- I'm burned out.

Burritos: the perfect food

I'm lucky enough to work a few blocks away from a great authentic Mexican restaurant, which means I get to eat a burrito at least once a week. I never claimed to be the most health conscious person, but I'm pretty sure burritos are good for you. It more or less represents the entire food pyramid:



bread- tortilla shell, rice
vegetables- lettuce, tomatoes, salsa
meat/protein- beans, beef/ chicken/ pork/ etc... (depending what kind you get)
milk- cheese, sour cream
fruit- guacamole (avocados)
Plus depending how hot you get it, I'm sure you'll go through at least 2 glasses of water.

So that settles it, goodbye atkins diet, hello burrito diet!

New policy on junk mail

So if you're like me, I'm sure you get at least 3 credit card applications per week in the mail. I saw this on 60 Minutes (yea, why was I watching that?), that since they always send you postage paid envelopes, just send it back. I used to just tear it in half, then throw it in the recycling basket. It's so much more satisfying to fold it back into the envelope they gave, and have them foot the bill to get their own junk back. I even fold up the envelope they sent the original letter in. Make sure to tear off any info to avoid revenge from the credit card company, and have fun.

"Why? Cuz Fuck 'em"